Theory Jokes

Why are people from Arkansas so good at Science?

Because they use the Theory of Relativity to find a partner.

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How does traffic form?

My theory is that it is a Protozoa Plankton

What was the humor like back then?

I was just wondering about how many jokes today maybe irrelevant 100 years into the future. To test this theory, what are the oldest recorded jokes?

What did Einstein's dad say when he published his theory of relativity?

Damn, son. It's about time!

Why did did the convicts escape?

Billy Eichner has a theory... Billy Eichner says I bet those escaped convicts are going to see Ted 2.

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Wonder Jokes More Wonder Jokes

What do you get if you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic?

A person who stays up all night wondering if there is a dog.

What does a dyslexic, agnostic insomniac do at night?

Lie in bed wondering "Is there really a dog?"

Record Jokes More Record Jokes

What's all this?

Bracken: Well you told me to bring all my records with me and I did. Here's some by Willie Nelson Tammy Wynette and Garth Brooks...

What do you call a notebook where you record information about your poops?

Some people may call it a log journal, while others call it a diary-a.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why has no one invented a device where I can move myself around from place to place while lying in a hammock?

I remember when we used to make stuff in this lazy country!

What's that coffee drink with icecream?

I used to know it, but... Affogato.

Science Jokes More Science Jokes

Who knows about math and science and is always close by?

An engi-near!

What is the cuddliest particle known to science?

The HUGS boson!

Damn Jokes More Damn Jokes

Why do I have a temperature of 101.3?

Me: Maybe you're pregnant Wife: What's wrong with you *damn you webMD, damn you.

What did Shakespeare say when his dog messed up the carpet?

Out, damned spot! Out, I say!"*

100 Year Jokes More 100 Year Jokes

When did the 100 years war get serious?

When the English got Crecy

What's the difference between america and a yoghurt?

A yoghurt develops a culture After sitting there for 100 years.

Terrorist Jokes More Terrorist Jokes

What did terrorists used to call Fidel Castro?

Infidel Castro

What should have tipped off the airline ticket sellers on 9/11?

When the terrorists asked for anything cheaper than one-way.

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What happens when you goose a ghost?

You get a hand full of sheet. (Joke from my mom)

Why did Vanilla Ice steal a can of hair spray?

Because the label said, "Contents Under Pressure" Got this joke from my brother