Partner Jokes

What does Ronda Rousey's opponents and myself have in common?

We both barely last 14 seconds and leave our partners underwhelmed.

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What do you call someone who finishes a sentence with you?

Partner in crime.

How to break up with someone- You: Your ex is attractive. Partner: which one?

You: MEEEEE BYEEEEEEEE

What did George Michael say to his partner before he went to work?

Wake me up before you go-go

What did Sherrock Holmes say to his partner?

Sedimentary my dear Watson!

How do you know when you have a high sperm count?

Your partner has to chew before swallowing...

Which detective investigates electrical crimes?

Sherlock Ohms That's why his partner is called Wattson...

How can you tell if your sperm count is high?

Your partner has to chew before they swallow.

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What do redditors and litterers have in common?

I'm just gonna leave this here.

Why did the orange stop rolling down the hill?

It ran out of juice. I shall take my leave now.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why does no work ever get done on the Sun?

Because it's always a Sun day

How do you know the devil is white?

Because he owns hell, he doesn't work for hell.

People Jokes More People Jokes

What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted people

Why did the cannibal live on his own?

He was fed up with other people.

Ex Jokes More Ex Jokes

What's the worst part of going to a southern family reunion?

Seeing your ex.

What is it called when you call your ex?

Ex-communication

Burger King Jokes More Burger King Jokes

What's the Harlem shake?

Me: I don't know, I think they sell them at Burger King

Why did the vampire go crazy at Burger King?

He saw all that catsup and wanted a transfusion.

Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

Why is marriage is like an alarm clock?

After the ring, you wake up!

What do you need to have to do the dishes when you don't want to?

Dishcipline This is literally a joke I told in a dream and I remembered it when waking up.

Crime Jokes More Crime Jokes

What's dark, and usually involved in crime?

A balaclava.

What do you call a midget psychic committing a crime?

Small medium at large.

George Michael Jokes More George Michael Jokes

What did Darth Vader say to Admiral Motti after browsing his collection of George Michael records?

I find your lack of Faith disturbing.

Why was Darth Vader upset when he heard George Michael will only play new songs at his concerts?

He found his lack of Faith disturbing.