Partner Jokes

What does Ronda Rousey's opponents and myself have in common?

We both barely last 14 seconds and leave our partners underwhelmed.

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What do you call someone who finishes a sentence with you?

Partner in crime.

How to break up with someone- You: Your ex is attractive. Partner: which one?

You: MEEEEE BYEEEEEEEE

What did George Michael say to his partner before he went to work?

Wake me up before you go-go

What did Sherrock Holmes say to his partner?

Sedimentary my dear Watson!

How do you know when you have a high sperm count?

Your partner has to chew before swallowing...

Which detective investigates electrical crimes?

Sherlock Ohms That's why his partner is called Wattson...

How can you tell if your sperm count is high?

Your partner has to chew before they swallow.

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

How many monastic women does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None... they live an ascetic lifestyle and prefer to not use electricity.

How do seals keep their coats so smooth?

They use a sea lion.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why do women love men who work with Horses?

Because those men have got Stable jobs.

How many OU (University of Oklahoma) coaches does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They aren't about to change a bulb when flipping a switch has worked for 15 years.

Burger King Jokes More Burger King Jokes

What's the Harlem shake?

Me: I don't know, I think they sell them at Burger King

Why did the vampire go crazy at Burger King?

He saw all that catsup and wanted a transfusion.

Sentence Jokes More Sentence Jokes

What has 6 letters, starts with 'P', and ends a sentence?

Parole.

Why did the criminal get released from prison after he wrote a short essay?

He had served his sentence.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What did the calculus student who failed his test and the guy who got a speed ticket have in common?

They didn't know their limits

How do you make cultured milk?

You take it to the Moo-seum.

Science Jokes More Science Jokes

Who knows about math and science and is always close by?

An engi-near!

What is the most overused force in science?

Van der Waals.

Crime Jokes More Crime Jokes

What squeaks as it solves crimes?

Miami mice!

What's dark, and usually involved in crime?

A balaclava.

Software Developer Jokes More Software Developer Jokes

Why do software developers make the best relationship partners?

Because they're not afraid of committing.

How many software developers does it take to fix a light bulb?

None, its a hardware issue.