What do you call a prehistoric humanoid who likes to take his time?

A meander-thal!

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How do spiders drive a van?

10 on top 10 below Where would you like to go Get in. Get in the Spider Van.

Why don't drug addicts hang out at the beach?

They don't like getting sand in their crack.

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What's angry most of the time and wants you to stick something hard in it?

An outlet

What time is it when your watchdog lets a robber take the family silver?

Time to get a new watchdog.