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What do you call a prehistoric humanoid who likes to take his time?

A meander-thal!

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How do you like your new teacher?

Son: I don't. She told me to sit up the front for the present and then she didn't give me one!

Where in Eastern Europe does Justin Timberlake like to kayaking?

Crimea River

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What did Russian judge say to the jury?

I better stop Stalin for time and Putin a little more effort.

What happens when everyone in the country takes a pee at the same time?

Urine-nation!