Why did the kleptomaniac spend so much time in Bed Bath and Beyond?

He was taking a sheet.

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How can you tell baseball players are smarter than football players?

When was the last time you saw a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field?

What did T-Rex say after doing yoga for the first time?

Dinosore

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What's the main thing a woman needs to think about when considering a potential boyfriend?

Is this the man I want my kids to spend every second weekend with?

Why does it take a pirate so long to finish saying the alphabet?

Because they spend years at sea.

Sheet Jokes More Sheet Jokes

How did the ghost patch his sheet?

With a pumpkin patch.

Who stole the sheets from the bed?

Bed buglars.

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What do you call someone who takes everything literally?

A kleptomaniac!

What did a kleptomaniac say on 90% sale?

It was an absolute steal!

Bed Bath Jokes More Bed Bath Jokes

Where'd you buy my gift?

Me: Bed Bath & Beyond Wife: You used a coupon right Me: Coupon *wife faints*

Why did the kleptomaniac spend so much time in Bed Bath and Beyond?

He was taking a sheet.