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Why did the kleptomaniac spend so much time in Bed Bath and Beyond?

He was taking a sheet.

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

How did the Allies have time to prepare D-Day?

Because Russia was Stalin

Why are promise rings 1/10th the price of engagement rings?

They only work 10% of the time.

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

What's the difference between my GoPro and my girlfriend?

I wouldn't spend hours looking for my girlfriend at a ski resort if I lost her on the mountain.

Why do some writers have a hard time graphing equations?

Because they spend too much time with the x-position

Sheet Jokes More Sheet Jokes

Why did the kleptomaniac spend so much time in Bed Bath and Beyond?

He was taking a sheet.

What do you get when you goose a ghost?

A handful of sheet.

Kleptomaniac Jokes More Kleptomaniac Jokes

Why can't you tell a pun to a kleptomaniac?

They take things literally.

Why did the kleptomaniac dislike the insultingly boisterous man with a cleft palate?

He couldn't take any more lip!

Bed Bath Jokes More Bed Bath Jokes

Where'd you buy my gift?

Me: Bed Bath & Beyond Wife: You used a coupon right Me: Coupon *wife faints*

Why did the kleptomaniac spend so much time in Bed Bath and Beyond?

He was taking a sheet.