Why did the kleptomaniac spend so much time in Bed Bath and Beyond?

He was taking a sheet.

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Time Jokes More Time Jokes

Why is 'The Game' the most powerful rapper?

Because you lose every time you talk about him ()

What did the time traveler say at the birthday party?

I'd tell you happy birthday, but to me, you've been dead for centuries

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

What did Noah do while spending time on the ark?

Fished but he didn't catch much. He only had two worms!

Why do pirates take so long to learn the alphabet?

Because they often spend years at C EDIT: made it more punny

Sheet Jokes More Sheet Jokes

What do you call a ghost at midnight?

A sheet in the dark!

Why does Al Gore hate Oil Spills?

They get all over the sheets.

Kleptomaniac Jokes More Kleptomaniac Jokes

Why was the kleptomaniac frustrated by that joke "why can't you explain puns to kleptomaniacs?

He couldn't take a joke.

What do you call a kleptomaniac who doesn't understand figurative speech?

Someone who takes everything literally

Bed Bath Jokes More Bed Bath Jokes

Where'd you buy my gift?

Me: Bed Bath & Beyond Wife: You used a coupon right Me: Coupon *wife faints*

Why did the kleptomaniac spend so much time in Bed Bath and Beyond?

He was taking a sheet.