What do Jay Leno and Payton Manning have in common?

They both know when it's time to turn things over.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How does one know if balls are ticklish?

Test-Tickle.

How do you know when your girlfriend is putting on too much weight?

She starts fitting into your wife's clothes.

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What does a Pirate say when he turns 80?

Ayyyeeeee mmmaattteeeyyy.

Why I love duct tape?

It can turn "No, no no!" into "mmph, mmmph, mmmph"

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

Why is Pizza Hut listed as your emergency contact?

Me: Because if things ever get crazy, they'll know where to find me.

What do you call a pirate that sells things?

A sailor.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What's the difference between your sister and a washing machine?

A washing machine only takes one load at a time.

What do nuclear physicists do when they have time off?

They go fission.

Jay Leno Jokes More Jay Leno Jokes

What do Jay Leno and Payton Manning have in common?

They both know when it's time to turn things over.

What advice does Jay Leno receive when sad?

Chin up pal.