Where do lobsters buy their work clothes?

Homardware.

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Why did the pervert buy 16.5 pints of salsa?

2 gals 1 cup(http://www.reddit.com/r/Canning/comments/yyhsp/my20triptothelocallatinmarketnetted165/)

Why did the bodybuilder buy a dictionary?

Because he wanted to get more definition.

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What did the man say when the lobster gave him food poisoning?

I'm not letting you cook dinner again.

How does a lobster answer the phone?

Shello