Why did Russia close all of its airports?

The planes were stalin.

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Russia Jokes More Russia Jokes

Why was Edward unable to get out of Russia?

Because he was Snowd en! (according to my friends this joke has been around for awhile, but I hadn't seen it yet, and wanted to share the goof)

Why can't you have military coup in Russia?

Because in Russia the military coups you.

Close Jokes More Close Jokes

How do you get a hippie off your door step?

Pay for the pizza and close the door.

What has four legs and see just as well from either end?

A horse with his eyes closed!

Plane Jokes More Plane Jokes

What do you get when you push a cow out of a plane?

Ground beef

Why can't penguins fly?

They're too short to reach the controls of the plane.

Airport Jokes More Airport Jokes

How do you get a free flight at an airport?

Take the stairs.

What do you call being sick because of an airport?

Terminal illness