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Hat Jokes

What did the hat say to the tie?

You hang around. I'll go on a head.

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Why JFK doesn't wear hats?

It is an airport.

What did the bra say to the hat?

You go on ahead and I'll give these two a lift.

Why are do many Italian-Americans named Tony?

When they came to Ellis Island, not one of them could speak a lick of English, but they all had "To NY" on their hats.

What did the hat say to the scarf?

You hang around here while I go on ahead.

What did tie say to the hat?

You go on ahead, I'll hang around.

What did one hat say to the other hat?

You wait here, I'm going to go on a head.

How did Canada get its name?

They picked random letters out of a hat. C.... eh? N... eh? D....eh?

What did the bra say to the top hat?

You go on ahead, I'll give these two a lift.

How do you get three popes into a Volkswagen?

You take off their hats

Why don't hat store owners and pet shop owner get along?

Because you can't be a fan of hat care and cat hair.

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Why don't Korean captains wear hats?

Because they don't know what to do with cap sizes.

What did the hat say to the other hat?

You stay here. I'll go on a head.

What's the difference between a magician and a psychologist?

A magician makes rabbits appear in hats, while a psychologist makes habits appear in rats.

What did one hat say to another?

You stay here, I'll go on a head!

How did Canada pick its name?

There were two Canadians and an American. They put letters in a hat and drew. They got "C-eh", "N-eh", "D-eh". The American didn't know what was going on, but he relayed the message. I know i need to work on my execution.

What did the hat say to the hat rack?

You stay here, I'll go on a head

What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead, I'll just hang around.

What did the hat say to the belt?

You hang around I'll go on ahead

How did they name Canada?

They picked letters out of a hat: C eh, N eh, D eh.

What did one hat say to the other?

You stay here, I'll go on ahead....

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What did the man in the wheelchair say when he returned the hat he borrowed?

Thanks for the handy cap.

Where do frogs leave their hats and coats?

In the croakroom!

What did the hat say to the coat stand?

You stay here, I'll go on a head.

How to do fit ten popes in a vw bug?

Tell them to take off their hats

Why did the witch lose her way?

Because her hat was pointing in the wrong direction.

What did the hat say to the necktie?

You go AHEAD I'll HANG AROUND!

How does a pirate tip his hat?

M'Hearty

What do witches use pencil sharpeners for?

To keep their hats pointed.

How many magicians does it take to pull a rabbit out of a hat?

One. It's a trick question.

What do you know when you see three rabbits walking down the street wearing tuxedos and top hats?

You know you need a psychiatrist!

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What happened to the witch with an upside down nose?

Every time she sneezed her hat blew off.

What's the most useful type of hat?

A handy-cap

Why do gangsters turn their guns to the side?

So their hats are right side up when they go to aim.

How did Canada name their country?

They picked random letters from a hat. C, eh N, eh D, eh

What hat does a Mexican wear to a funeral?

A somber-ero.

What did the scarf say to the hat?

You go on ahead, I am going to hang around a bit longer.

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Dandy Lion Jokes More Dandy Lion Jokes

What do you call a lion wearing a cravat and a flower in its mane?

A dandy lion!

What do you call a lion with a fancy hat?

A dandy lion.

Lift Jokes More Lift Jokes

How did The Hulk feel after trying to lift Mjolnir?

He felt Thor.

How can you lift an elephant with one hand?

A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with one hand.

Quadriplegic Jokes More Quadriplegic Jokes

What did the sorting hat say to the quadriplegic?

Stay here, I'll just go on ahead.

How does the quadriplegic cross the free way?

I'll give you a hint... Take the "F" out of "free" and the "F" out of "way".

Tony Jokes More Tony Jokes

Why are a lot of Italians named Tony?

Because as they got on the boat to leave Italy, they were stamped on the head, "TO NY".

Why is Iron Man Italian?

Because to get him you have to rig-a-tony..

N Jokes More N Jokes

How do you spell hypocrisy?

R-E-L-I-G-I-O-N

What is it called when Michael J. Fox smokes a joint?

Shake N' Bake.

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What did they Deer say when she came out of the woods?

"I will never do that again for 2 bucks " My reply: Ha Ha!

What happened when the sausage came in first?

An announcer said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we have a wiener!"

Bra Jokes More Bra Jokes

How do you say bra in German?

Dashud sthapem from flappen

What did the bra say to the toupee?

You go on ahead, I'll hold these two up.

Tie Jokes More Tie Jokes

What do you call an Aztec Mayan snake god tied in a knot?

Pretzalcoatl

How do you always keep your shoes tied?

Replace the laces with earphones.