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Why did the hipster chemist get burnt?

He touched the beaker before it was cool.

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Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

What do you get when you burn down Woolworths?

Coles.

What happened to the fireman who let the house burn?

He got fired.

Beaker Jokes More Beaker Jokes

Why were the Beakers all packed and moved out of the university lab?

They were graduated

Who's the most self-centered Muppet?

Beaker. All he says is "Me Me Me."

Touch Jokes More Touch Jokes

What's Jared Fogle's favorite time of day?

When the big hand touches the little one

How can you tell when it's time to go to bed at Michael Jacksons house?

When the big hand touches the little hand