Beaker Jokes

Why did the hipster chemist get burnt?

He touched the beaker before it was cool.

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Why were the Beakers all packed and moved out of the university lab?

They were graduated

Who's the most self-centered Muppet?

Beaker. All he says is "Me Me Me."

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Pack Jokes More Pack Jokes

What did the butcher say when he handed his customer an empty pack of hotdogs on Halloween?

Happy halloweenie

Why did Jesus have a six pack?

It was from all the cross-training...

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

What if I see a puppy?

What if my house burns down

Why did the Boston Marathon runner collapse before finishing the race?

WTF) His thighs were burning too bad.

Drop Jokes More Drop Jokes

How many ska kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to drop it and six to pick it up pick it up pick it up

Why did the farmer fire the DJ?

Because he kept on dropping beets.

Graduate Jokes More Graduate Jokes

What do math majors get when they graduate?

A radian. Math majors don't use degrees.

What do you call a blonde in the freezer?

Her parents named her Cindy so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.

Center Jokes More Center Jokes

Why do abcdefghijklmopqrstuvwxy &amp z hate hanging out with the letter n?

Because n always has to be the center of attention.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?

I don't know. It kept breaking my guitar strings so I gave up.

Chemist Jokes More Chemist Jokes

What do you do to a chemist after they die?

You Barium

Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium 'the medical elements'?

Because, if you can't 'helium' or 'curium', you 'BARIUM'!

Touch Jokes More Touch Jokes

Why do Buddhists always buy 1 ply toilet paper?

Because they like to get in touch with their inner self.

What goes above the water and below the water but doesn't touch the water?

An egg in a duck.

U. Jokes More U. Jokes

Where the hell are u?

ME: Well...u know that shop where u saw that ring you love W: OMG YES M: I'm catching Pokemon near there

How the rap feud started Me: can u invite all the rappers to my b'day party?

2pac: sure, no biggie Biggieeavesdropping: wipes tears