Beaker Jokes

Why did the hipster chemist get burnt?

He touched the beaker before it was cool.

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Why were the Beakers all packed and moved out of the university lab?

They were graduated

Who's the most self-centered Muppet?

Beaker. All he says is "Me Me Me."

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Douchebag Jokes More Douchebag Jokes

U. Jokes More U. Jokes

Where the hell are u?

ME: Well...u know that shop where u saw that ring you love W: OMG YES M: I'm catching Pokemon near there

Why does America spell some words differently?

They said "We can do it without u, Britain."

Burn Jokes More Burn Jokes

How many calories does heartache burn?

Me: Depends on how many calories are in the person you are setting on fire.

Why is something that keeps you from burning your fingers on a joint called a roach clip?

Because potholder was already taken

Drop Jokes More Drop Jokes

What did Dave Grohl say when he accidentally dropped his sandwich?

There goes my hero

What's the difference between a sandwich and a germanwings plane?

When the sandwich drops I'm sad.

Center Jokes More Center Jokes

Who's the most self-centered Muppet?

Beaker. All he says is "Me Me Me."

Why don't call centers hire alligators?

They can't croco-dial the phones.

Chemist Jokes More Chemist Jokes

How does a chemist introduce Batman?

Sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium Batman!

What does a chemist say when he's pouring water into an acid?

Drop the base.

Muppet Jokes More Muppet Jokes

Who's the most self-centered Muppet?

Beaker. All he says is "Me Me Me."

What are the Muppet's views on the paranormal?

It's a phenomena (do doo do doodoo)

Touch Jokes More Touch Jokes

What time is bedtime at Neverland Ranch?

When the big hand touches the little hand.

What happens when Anthony Weiner tries to shake someones hand?

They think long and hard before they touch weiner.