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What do you call a kleptomaniac who doesn't understand figurative speech?

Someone who takes everything literally

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Understand Jokes More Understand Jokes

What kind of bee can never be understood?

A mumble-bee.

Why did the student fail his physics test?

He didn't understand the gravity of the situation.

Kleptomaniac Jokes More Kleptomaniac Jokes

Why did the kleptomaniac spend so much time in Bed Bath and Beyond?

He was taking a sheet.

Why don't kleptomaniacs ever get puns?

The take everything, literally.