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What do you call someone who takes things literally?

A kleptomaniac!

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What's one thing Lance Armstrong can still make money from?

LIESTRONG bracelets.

What's the first thing you should do when confronted by an evil spirit?

Try to neghostiate.

Kleptomaniac Jokes More Kleptomaniac Jokes

Why don't kleptomaniacs get jokes?

Because they take everything literally.

Why can't you tell pun jokes to kleptomaniacs?

Because they always take things literally