What am I a pillow now?

Her: Yep, and pillows don't talk. I think we're bonding.

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Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why was the mother flea feeling down in the dumps?

Because she thought her children were all going to the dogs.

What did the tired pilot say to his crew?

I think I'm gonna crash

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

What will ESPN talk about if both the Hawks and Rockets make it to the NBA final?

The NHL playoffs

Where'd you get the pig"?

Woman: "How DARE you call my dog that!" Man: "I was talking to the dog!"

Pillow Jokes More Pillow Jokes

What do you call it when... You put a pillow on a stool?

You call it a stool softener cheesiest joke I made up

What does it mean when a man is in your bed, gasping for air, and calling your name?

You didn't hold down the pillow for long enough.

Bond Jokes More Bond Jokes

What type of bonds deals with the bad guys?

James

What do a marriage and superglue have in common?

They both form a bond in seconds, last (ideally) forever, and are dissolved by alcohol.

Yep Jokes More Yep Jokes

What do you call spiders in the Middle East?

Iraqnids. Yep. An original.

Why is 9 crying?

Me: Because it's raining and he's getting wet wife: But we're at a water park me *takes a drink from my flask* Yep