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What did the tv get for Christmas?

Replaced

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Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What does a drug addict and a child have in common?

They both want tablets for Christmas.

What did the dyslexic kid say to his parents at Christmas?

I love Satan

Tv Jokes More Tv Jokes

Can I watch the TV?

Yes, but don’t turn it on.

Why are there commentators for televised sports?

We can figure out what's going on live, but can't while watching it on tv

Replace Jokes More Replace Jokes

What's really important to a bat when they are looking for a new home?

Echo-location, location, location (Replace "bat" with "zubat" if you wish.)

What did the bird say when he flew over K-Mart?

Caw Caw why'd my natural habitat get replaced with 165 000 square feet of consumerist wasteland