Why are art contests so disappointing?

They always end in a draw

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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

To draw the curtains!

Why did the boy take a pencil and paper to bed?

He was told to draw the curtains before going to sleep.

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What did Miss Piggy say to Kermit at the end of their first date?

Nothing. She had a frog in her throat.

What did one slice of bread say to the other at the end of a game of chess?

It's stale, mate.