Why are art contests so disappointing?

They always end in a draw

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What do you call a drawing of Ketchup?

Sketchup

Why did the artists stay away from the irritable blacksmith?

Nobody wanted to draw his iron.

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How long do you need to know someone before sharing fries?

Because I'm about to introduce myself to the girl at the end of the bar.

How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two: one to get it 95% done, and the second to give it the twist at the end.