What did the fruit enthusiast do as he was dying?

Prepear for the end.

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Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why did the calendar die?

It's days were numbered.

Why are lawyers buried 18 feet deep when they die?

Because deep down they're all actually good people.

End Jokes More End Jokes

What did the seamen say to his friend?

It was a long road, but I ended up coming out a head.

What's the difference between a semicolon and a cat?

One has a pause at the end of it's clause, the other has claws at the end of it's paws.