Who says you can't make someone love you?

I've got a bottle of Scotch, some duct tape and a fresh batch of cupcakes, that beg to differ.

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Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What do you call a ghost that loves soccer?

Ghoooooooooooooouuull!

Who's there! Candace! Candace who?

Candace with love!

Beg Jokes More Beg Jokes

What did the flower say when she was begged not to tell a secret?

Chrysanthemum's the word.

What do you call someone who begs for a free copy of "Return Of The King"?

A free-LOTR

Bottle Jokes More Bottle Jokes

Why do Polish people keep empty bottles in their refrigerator?

For people that don't want anything to drink

How do Russian sprinters train?

They put a bottle of vodka 100 meters away from them.

Differ Jokes More Differ Jokes

How does a Confederate flag and a rainbow flag differ?

The latter represents people that win.

Who says you can't make someone love you?

I've got a bottle of Scotch, some duct tape and a fresh batch of cupcakes, that beg to differ.

Duct Tape Jokes More Duct Tape Jokes

How is Ducktape like the Force?

It has a Dark Side, a Light side and it binds everything the galaxy together. Edit:Duct Tape I know, I was tired

What's the Best thing about Duct Tape?

It turns Noooo! Noooo! Noooo!......to..... Mmmmm, Mmmmm, Mmmmm.

Scotch Jokes More Scotch Jokes

Which language does a drunk Scotsman speak?

X-post /r/puns Scotch.

Who says you can't make someone love you?

I've got a bottle of Scotch, some duct tape and a fresh batch of cupcakes, that beg to differ.

Cupcake Jokes More Cupcake Jokes

Who says you can't make someone love you?

I've got a bottle of Scotch, some duct tape and a fresh batch of cupcakes, that beg to differ.

When I have complicated problems I always ask myself, what would my imaginary wife do?

And then I end up buying myself cupcakes, and shoes.