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Who says you can't make someone love you?

I've got a bottle of Scotch, some duct tape and a fresh batch of cupcakes, that beg to differ.

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Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What did the lesbian rattlesnake say to Hillary after they finished making love?

You know, they're right... we do taste like chicken!

What do you call a cat in love?

Romeow

Beg Jokes More Beg Jokes

Who says you can't make someone love you?

I've got a bottle of Scotch, some duct tape and a fresh batch of cupcakes, that beg to differ.

What did the flower say when she was begged not to tell a secret?

Chrysanthemum's the word.

Bottle Jokes More Bottle Jokes

What can I do you for?

Woman: a bottle of wine and cab fare

What is printed on the bottom of a bottle in Michigan?

Found on /r/linux) A: Open the other end

Differ Jokes More Differ Jokes

How does a woman differ from a computer?

You can actually punch information into a computer.

Who says you can't make someone love you?

I've got a bottle of Scotch, some duct tape and a fresh batch of cupcakes, that beg to differ.

Duct Tape Jokes More Duct Tape Jokes

What is the best thing about duct tape?

It turns no no no into mm mm mmmm.

What is the best part about duct tape?

It can turn "no, no, no!" Into "mmm, mmm, mmm"

Scotch Jokes More Scotch Jokes

Which language does a drunk Scotsman speak?

X-post /r/puns Scotch.

What's the difference between Amy Winehouse, Janice Joplin, Jim Morrison, and a bottle of scotch?

OC) A bottle of scotch can keep beyond 27 years.

Cupcake Jokes More Cupcake Jokes

Who says you can't make someone love you?

I've got a bottle of Scotch, some duct tape and a fresh batch of cupcakes, that beg to differ.

When I have complicated problems I always ask myself, what would my imaginary wife do?

And then I end up buying myself cupcakes, and shoes.