Action Jokes

What kind of court order would be placed on a pig in order to prevent it from taking a specific course of action?

An inj-oink-tion.

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What do you call the action of a banker buying weed?

A dank transaction

Why did the jellyfish's wife leave him?

He stung her into action.

What do you call the action where a dead guy falls out of a car and you have to put him back in?

A rehearsal

Why did the librarian hush the mime?

Because actions speak louder than words.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a 2016 Reddit post and a 2006 Reddit post?

Removed

What's the difference between Oscar the grouch and a grouch at the Oscars?

Ones green and the other is black

Base Jokes More Base Jokes

What does the DJ do when he spills acid?

He drops the base!

Where do all the good boys go to hide away?

R/cringepics Based off Daya's song "Hide Away"

Sequence Jokes More Sequence Jokes

Why did they release Star Wars 4, 5 & 6 before 1, 2 & 3?

Because off sequence, Yoda was.

What do you get if you ask a former presidential candidate to write a piece of music about a formula for solving a problem based on a sequence of specified actions?

An algorithm.

Piece Jokes More Piece Jokes

What did Jesus want when he appeared on a piece of toast?

Miracle whip.

What did the dog say when it sat on a piece of sandpaper?

Ruff!

Islam Jokes More Islam Jokes

How do you a convert a number to a radical?

You convert it to Islam.

What religion believes in the Big Bang?

Islam.

Algorithm Jokes More Algorithm Jokes

How would you describe Al Gore playing the drums?

Algorithm.

What does former Vice President Gore play on the guitar?

An algorithm

Place Jokes More Place Jokes

How many theoretical physicists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to hold it in place, another to rotate the universe around it.

How is lightning like a violist's fingers?

Neither one strikes in the same place twice.

Belief Jokes More Belief Jokes

What is atheism?

A non-prophet religion Edit: Replace the word "religion" with "set of beliefs" if you're picky about that sort of thing

What do you call the belief that one kind of shoe is better than another?

Shoepremacy.