What did he tell people in order to make them avoid taking it?

Eschew! Eschew!

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People Jokes More People Jokes

Who gets the job of writing the fortunes in the cookies?

I want that job. I could really screw with some people.

Why are sinks depressed?

People look down on them.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What did the author tell his publisher when he handed him a 600 pages instead of the 200 the publisher had asked for?

Sorry, I overwrote your order.

What do you tell a hitchhiker with one leg?

Hop in

Avoid Jokes More Avoid Jokes

Why did the European businessman sleep on the streets?

To avoid a hostel takeover.

Why did the bird refuse Martin Luther's food?

It was on a strict diet of worms. edit: changed pronoun to avoid ambiguity

Order Jokes More Order Jokes

What do you call someone who keeps trying the same thing again and again, yet expects different results?

A weapons designer for the First Order.

Why were the twin towers disappointed?

They ordered pepperoni and all they got was plane.