Egg Jokes

How do you call it when an egg is on point?

Egg zactly!

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Which came first, the Chicken or the Egg?

The Rooster

What did the egg say when it got turned up?

Om-lit

What did the egg say to the boiling water?

It might take me a while to get hard, I just got laid this morning.

What do Twitter users and regular humans have in common?

Both start off as eggs.

What does an egg say when it's drunk?

Omelette

What goes above the water and below the water but doesn't touch the water?

An egg in a duck.

What did the egg say to the other egg?

Have a eggsellent day.

What does an egg say when he's getting turnt?

Omelette!!

What does an egg say when it gets turnt?

Omelette

What came first the egg or the Chicken?

The egg, of course. Isn't that what I just said?

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

What does an egg say at a party?

Omelette

What's the difference between me and an egg?

An egg gets laid.

What do you get when you put a flight stick in an egg?

A yoke.

What does Rabbits and Eggs have in common?

Easter

How do dentists like their eggs?

Poached.

What happened to the egg when it heard the joke?

It cracked.

Why don't people raid dodo nests anymore?

Because their eggs stinked!

Which eggs are the best for Easter?

Empty ones ()

Why was the egg late for work?

It ova slept.

How do you know your fridge is going through menopause?

It's all out of eggs.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

How do you throw an egg at the wall without breaking it?

With the chicken still around it

What did the chicken say after laying an egg?

Oeuf!

What do you call the first sperm that reaches the egg?

The ova achiever

Why should you never order the eggs while in France?

Because they are always uf.

Why do hens sit on eggs?

Because they're too poor to afford chairs.

Why did the bacon laugh?

Because the egg cracked a yolk.

Who is missing an egg?

There are 27 people in the room but on 53 eggs, you know what that means, someone is missing an egg.

How do dogs like their eggs cooked?

Pooched.

How does a blond like her eggs in the morning?

Fertilized

Why do the French make omelettes with only one egg?

Because in France one egg is un oeuf.

How do you mail an egg?

In a henvelope!

How can u drop an egg onto a concrete floor without breaking it?

Any way you want, concrete floors tend to be very hard to crack.

Why did the Frenchman not want two eggs?

Because one egg is un oeuf.

Where do Eggs keep their holidays pictures?

In a photo albumen...

What do you say when only the egg remains?

It's all ovum now

What did the Chemist have with his Eggs?

Barium, Cobalt and Nitrogen.

What did the egg say at the party?

Omelet

How do I like my eggs?

Umm in a cake.

What do you get when you put an egg in the ground?

An eggplant.

How long have you felt this way?

Man: "Ever since I was an egg."

What's it called when you fry up an egg with a bunch of different ingredients?

Omelette you figure it out

What do eggs do for fun?

They crack jokes.

Why did the mathematician bring home 24 eggs from the grocery store?

Because when he asked his wife how many eggs to buy, she said 4!

Why do most French recipes require only one egg?

In France, one egg is *un oeuf*

Why does it take 100 million sperms to fertilize one egg?

Because they won't stop to ask directions.

Why were the hens lying on their backs with their legs in the air?

Because eggs were going up!

How can you a drop a egg on concrete without cracking it?

Anyway you want. Concrete doesn't break easily.

What came first: the chicken or the egg?

The egg because I ate egg for breakfast and chicken for dinner.

What did one egg say to the other?

It's just a Yolk!!

How does a WWE wrestler like his eggs?

Raw

Why do chickens sit on their eggs?

Because they don't have chairs.

What do eggs say when they're turnt?

Omelette, fam

How do I like eggs?

Ummm...in a cake!

What is the difference between an egg and a redditor?

Eggs get laid at least once.

How does the Easter Bunny paint all of those eggs?

He hires Santa's elves during the off-season.

What does an egg do for fun?

Kari - YOKE - ee *Ha Ha Ha*

Why is an egg like a young horse?

Because it can't be used until it's broken!

Why are eggs so good at humor?

Because they have running yolks.

Why doesn't the dinosaur cross the road anymore?

Because their eggs stink. (They're extinct)

How do frogs manage to lay so many eggs?

They sit eggsaminations!

How do hens encourage their football teams?

They egg them on!

What does an egg say when it gets punched in the stomach?

Oeuf!

Why do people paint eggs for Easter?

Bunnies squirm too much.

When do chickens stop laying eggs?

Henopause

What do you call an egg from outer space?

An unidentified flying omelet!

What do you get when you drop an egg off the Empire State Building?

New Yolk

How many eggs does a Frenchman need?

One, because that's an Oeuf.

Why did the Easter Bunny have to fire the duck?

Because he kept quacking all the eggs!

How many eggs do the French use in their omelettes?

Just one, because in France one egg is un oeuf.

How many French eggs do you need?

One egg is un oeuf.

Why do you only need one egg in France?

Because one egg is un oeuf.

What does an egg say when he gets turnt?

Om lit cred: my friend DaMexicanBurrito from playstation.

What did the chicken say before laying an egg?

Yahoo. There goes my baby.

Why did the chicken run across the road?

She was worried the egg would get there first.

What happened to the egg and his girlfriend?

They broke up.

What's the difference between England and an egg cup?

An egg can stay in the cup longer

What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?

An eggroll!

Why did the chicken lay an egg?

To get food for her babies!

What does an egg say when its "turnt up"?

Omlet!

What day does the egg fear most?

Fry-day

What's wrong with these eggs I ordered?

Waiter: Don't ask me. I only laid the table.

What kind of eggs do Canadians prefer?

Grade eh

Why do chickens sit on eggs?

Because they don't have any chairs. Source: my five-year-old.

Why did the pancake cross the road?

His friends egged him on

What do you call an egg that is neither good nor bad?

Mediyolkre.

Why did the Frenchman not want two eggs for breakfast?

Because one egg is un oeuf.

Why do hens lay eggs?

If they dropped them they'd break

How do blondes like their eggs?

Unfertilized

What do you call an egg that's scared?

A chicken egg.

Why don't you put eggs in a microwave?

Because they eggsplode.

What happens when an egg laughs?

He cracks up

Whats a zombie's favorite drink?

Egg noggin.

Why was the egg laughing when it fell off the table?

Because it cracked itself up.

How does a fallopian tube take its eggs?

Ovaries Z)

Why do French people only have one egg at breakfast?

Because one egg is un oeuf.

What does an egg say to another egg?

Nothing, eggs can't talk.

What makes eggs so athletic?

They go ovary and above.

What do you call all the different ways a sperm can fertilize an egg?

The spermutations.

What did the eggs say when the cops showed up?

Everybody scramble!

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Crack Jokes More Crack Jokes

What did the daddy salt say to his son?

Stop cracking your NaCles.

What is the bibliophile's favorite website?

Reddit! Courtesy of my 32 year old boyfriend. He cracks himself up.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know Bono is selfish?

He does a lot of Pro-Bono work.

What's the definition of a gentleman?

Someone who knows how to play the bagpipe and doesn't.

Room Jokes More Room Jokes

How many chameleons are in the room with you right now?

You can never answer this question with 100% certainty.

How do you pump up a room full of shy introverts?

LETS GET READY TO MUMBLE!!!

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What do an Iraqi baby, an American president, and a homesick Brit visiting Jerusalem all want?

They all want either pees, peace or peas in the middle east.

Why were you speeding?

Motorist: I wasn't going to miss seeing myself on "America's Most Wanted."

Smoke Jokes More Smoke Jokes

What happens when you smoke pot in Saudi Arabia?

You get stoned.

What kind of cigarettes do hippies smoke?

Yours.

Op Jokes More Op Jokes

Why did the Chinese Government cross the road?

THE PUNCHLINE OF THIS JOKE HAS BEEN CENSORED BY THE GOVERNMENT OF THE PEOPLES REPUBLIC OF CHINA, PLEASE REMAIN CALM WHILE WE WILL DEAL WITH THE OP IN A CIVIL MANNER.

How do you tell the difference between a redditor and a MOBA player?

Ask them what OP stands for.

27 Jokes More 27 Jokes

How do you get 27 kids to carve a statue?

Have everybody chip in.

Who is missing an egg?

There are 27 people in the room but on 53 eggs, you know what that means, someone is missing an egg.

Point Jokes More Point Jokes

Why did Wile E. Coyote have a "Detour" sign pointing to the edge of a cliff?

To throw the Roadrunner off.

Why did the small Egyptian climb to the top of the pyramid?

He couldn't see the point.