Egg Jokes

Why couldn't the hunter cook breakfast?

The game warden found out he poached his eggs!

Everyday Deserves a Joke

$19.99

What happened to the egg when he was tickled too much?

He cracked up.

What's the difference between an expensive purchase and a loud noise that scares a chicken?

One costs an arm and a leg. The other caused alarm and an egg.

What's the difference between an egg and a redditor?

An egg gets laid

How do hens always know what size your egg cup is?

They don't but all eggs always fit.

Why do the French only have one egg for breakfast?

Because one egg is un oeuf.

Why can't an egg ever be in charge?

Because they crack under pressure.

Why don't eggs tell jokes?

Because they would crack each other up.

You might also enjoy:

Easter Bunny Jokes More Easter Bunny Jokes

How does the Easter Bunny paint all of those eggs?

He hires Santa's elves during the off-season.

Why was the Easter Bunny so upset?

He was having a bad hare day!

Smoke Jokes More Smoke Jokes

What type of weed do lizards smoke?

Mariguana.

What kind of cigarettes do hippies smoke?

Yours.

Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

What do you get when......you cross a religious skeptic, a dyslexic, and an insomniac?

A person who lays awake at night wondering if there really is a dog.

What did the agnostic, dyslexic insomniac do?

Lay awake in bed wondering if there really is a dog.

Un Jokes More Un Jokes

Where does Napoleon live/Ou Napolon habite-t-il?

Dans un bon-apartement.

Which cat made it across?

The second cat because un deux trois cat sank.

Hide Jokes More Hide Jokes

Where is the worst place to hide in a hospital?

In the ICU.

Why do you carry a knife?

Me: A sword is harder to hide.

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

Why Did The Man With One Hand Go To The Shopping Centre?

To go to the second hand shop

What do you call a cow that can go 3000 feet per second?

A bull-ette.

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

What does it mean when the Post Office flag is flying at half-staff?

They are hiring.

What do you mean I can't drink alcohol with this medication?

You're not a bartender! You're just a pharmacist.

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

How many dubstep fans does it take to clean a shower?

100. 1 to actually clean the shower, and 99 to stand around and talk about how filthy it is.

How many talking heads does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb, and another to spin the story until the bulb fits.