What do you call it when you buy stocks of a clothing company?

A good in-vest-ment

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What if I'm always just inexplicably shuffling a deck of cards?

Would you buy that Like "whoa, who's that drifter!"

What, I'm Asian?

Slides off Uggs & infinity scarf inside Starbucks* *buys a bonsai tree*

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What does Dave Grohl say when he thinks there's a stalker in his house?

IS SOMEONE OUT ON THE VEST? THE VEST? THE VEST? THE VESTIBULE?

What do you call it when you buy stocks of a clothing company?

A good in-vest-ment

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Who was the best financier in the Bible?

Noah. He floated his stock while the whole world was in liquidation.

What does an ear of corn hang on his fireplace during Christmas?

A stalk-ing! (A stocking!)