Stock Jokes

What did the bad soccer announcer get in his stocking?

COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What does an ear of corn hang on his fireplace during Christmas?

A stalk-ing! (A stocking!)

How did the dungeon keeper plan for retirement?

Collecting stocks and bonds.

What do you call an NBA Superstar who's first job was stocking milk?

Legen-dairy*

What did the fireman's wife get for Christmas?

A ladder in her stocking!

Why did the chicken love Campbell's Soup?

Because his family had stock in the company.

What do you call it when you buy stocks of a clothing company?

A good in-vest-ment

Who was the best financier in the Bible?

Noah. He floated his stock while the whole world was in liquidation.

You might also enjoy:

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

What they say: Want a bite of my sandwich?

What I hear: How much of this sandwich can you fit in your mouth

Who wants to go to Florida with me?

I heard the clubs are to die for.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What were the martyr's last words?

I believe in peace in our time

Whats the difference between a White lie and a Black lie?

Half to none of the time.

Cost Jokes More Cost Jokes

What did Obi-wan say to Skywalker the first time he saw him as Darth Vader?

Snickering) Nice suit, must have cost you an...

How much does it cost for a pirate to get an ear piercing?

A buccaneer.

Fireplace Jokes More Fireplace Jokes

What do organic mathematicians throw into their fireplaces?

Natural logs.

What does an ear of corn hang on his fireplace during Christmas?

A stalk-ing! (A stocking!)

Trade Jokes More Trade Jokes

What's the difference between a drummer and publicly traded stock?

Publicly traded stock will mature and make money.

Why did the chicken go to the car dealership?

She wanted to trade the coop for a sedan..

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

How did you get into counterfeiting?

Criminal: I answered an ad that said "Make money at home."

Why does China care so much about money?

They can't resist all of the cha-'ching'.

Yesterday Jokes More Yesterday Jokes

What is the chemical formula for water?

Student: "HIJKLMNO." Teacher: "What are you talking about " Student: "Yesterday you said it's H to O!"

What kind of turns do letters take?

U-turns! *From my 9 year old son yesterday. Fixed typo.

Bad Soccer Announcer Jokes More Bad Soccer Announcer Jokes

What did the bad soccer announcer get in his stocking?

COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!

What did the bad soccer announcer get for Christmas?

COOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!