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Why did the man bring his bed with him to the hospital?

It's because he heard hospital beds have a high mortality rate.

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Bed Jokes More Bed Jokes

What does a psychologist wear to bed?

A Freudian slip.

What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed?

Oh sheeeeeettttt!

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What do you call Wolverine post-op?

An x-man.

What did Captain Cook say to his men before they got on the ship?

Let's get on the ship, men!

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

Why does the snoop dog bring an umbrella?

For the drizzle

How many Mormons does it take to change a lightbulb?

Ten. One to actually change the lightbulb and nine to bring refreshments

Hospital Jokes More Hospital Jokes

Why did the narcissistic cannibal end up in the hospital?

Because he was so full of himself.

Why did the dog go to the hospital?

He was feeling ruff.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Why do the Avengers keep calling Spiderman over to fix their computer?

Because they heard he's a web developer

Why do Chinese people love NY?

Because they heard we sell hotdogs for $0.75 each.