Avenger Jokes

What does the Incredible Hulk bring to the Avenger's Thanksgiving meal?

Smashed potatoes.

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What did Joss say on the last day of shooting the Avengers?

Whedon?

Why isn't Spiderman in the Avengers?

Because a black widow has no husband.

What's the difference between bruce banner and bruce jenner?

One turned into a terrifying monster, the other is an avenger.

What do you call alcohol distilled by the Avengers' enemies?

Hydra-Gin

Why is Daredevil not a part of the Avengers?

Because he doesn't work with Vision

How many Avengers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. Ant-Man and Wasp are the only ones small enough to fit inside a lightbulb.

Why do the Avengers keep calling Spiderman over to fix their computer?

Because they heard he's a web developer

How many Avengers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. Ant-Man and Wasp are the only ones small enough to fit inside a lightbulb.

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Lightbulb Jokes More Lightbulb Jokes

How many US cops does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they arrest the room because it's black.

How many Vietnam War Veterans does it take to change a lightbulb?

You don't know man, you weren't there!

Thanksgiving Jokes More Thanksgiving Jokes

Why was the cook late to Thanksgiving dinner?

He lost track of thyme. Happy Thanksgiving.

What's brown and white and flies all over?

Thanksgiving turkey when you carve it with a chain saw!

Marvel Jokes More Marvel Jokes

Why was Nikola Tesla a fan of Marvel?

Because he didn't like DC...

Why did Aquaman join the DC universe instead of Marvel?

Because he was hydra-phobic.

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

Why didn't the melons get married in Vegas?

Because they cantaloupe. This joke was brought to you by Dads inc.

Why do Native Americans hate April showers?

Because they bring Mayflowers

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

Why did the water turn into steam?

It mistbehaved

What do you call two obese lesbians who are about to turn in for the night?

Bedward ScissorHams

Wasp Jokes More Wasp Jokes

How did the wasps take that news?

God: Err...

What do you get if you cross a skunk and a wasp?

Something that stinks and stings!

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What do Mexicans say on their first day in America?

Jose can you see, by the dawn's early light...

What is the creepiest letter of the alphabet?

V. Because no matter where you are, any time of any day, no matter what you do, V always follows U.

Screw Jokes More Screw Jokes

How many bureaucrats does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to assure that everything possible is being done about the situation and the other one to screw it into the faucet.

How Many Friend Zoned Men Does It Take To Screw In A Lightbulb?

None, they just all stand around complaining that it won't screw!