What strengths do you bring to the job?

Long pause while Jesus glares at interviewer* Are you being serious right now

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Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What were Jesus' final words?

So long and thanks for all the fish." Edit: Everyone hates me.

Whenever I'm in trouble, I think: what would Jesus do?

Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for three days.

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

How many ISIS mercenaries does it take to change a light bulb?

None stupid crusader, that's a job for the hostages!

How do you spot a bad boss your first day on the job?

Check his/her pulse. (bitter at the workplace)

Bring Jokes More Bring Jokes

What's that in the bag?

An AK-47." "No next to that." "A bag of cheetos." "You can't bring that into the movie."

What happens when you throw a black rock into the Red Sea?

I originally thought that the black rock gets wet, but it was brought to my attention that the Red Sea is in the middle east, so it prob'ly starts a holy war!

Strength Jokes More Strength Jokes

Why did the bear start playing music when the priest tried to absolve him of his sins?

Because the priest said "Bear, atone" and the bear thought he said "baritone" as in "play the baritone sax now". The bear immediately started wailing away on the sax, rocking back and forth so hard he knocked over all the prayer candles and almost snapped his own spine. All the priest could do was ask the lord for the strength needed to get this bear into heaven.

What strengths do you bring to the job?

Long pause while Jesus glares at interviewer* Are you being serious right now

Interviewer Jokes More Interviewer Jokes

How do you hit those high notes?

Adam Levine: I sold my soul to the devil. Interviewer: Excuse me Adam Levine: Practice.

What if earth rotates 30 times faster?

Interviewer:"If the Earth rotates 30 times faster, what will happen?" engineer:"We will get our salary everyday" :D Think Greedily Act Confidently

Long Pause Jokes More Long Pause Jokes

Which president was famous for his long pauses?

Ellipsis S. Grant.

What strengths do you bring to the job?

Long pause while Jesus glares at interviewer* Are you being serious right now

Glare Jokes More Glare Jokes

How are monster trucks made?

ME: Son, when a monster and a truck love each oth- GF: glares ME: He's old enough for the facts, Jane

What strengths do you bring to the job?

Long pause while Jesus glares at interviewer* Are you being serious right now