Daily Jokes

What's you experience with "Friends with benefits"?

The close thing I came to having friends with benefits was.......... convincing my friend to bring food for me daily.

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What do cannibal say when they say grace?

We thank you Lord for our daily dead!

How did Eddard Stark get his daily recommended amount of fiber?

Raisin' Bran.

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Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

How does a witch make scrambled eggs?

She holds the pan and gets two friends to make the stove shake with fright.

How do gingers make friends?

No seriously, im getting lonely.

3rd Jokes More 3rd Jokes

How often do you floss?

Me: Daily Dentist: *Pulls fully grown centaur from between my 2nd and 3rd molars*

Why do pencils shave?

To look sharp. Credit: 3rd grade me.

Thank Jokes More Thank Jokes

What did the man who survived a javelin headwound say to his opponent?

Thanks for opening my mind.

What did the dad say when his daughter gave him gravel for his birthday?

Thanks for sediments

Experience Jokes More Experience Jokes

Why did the solar wind start having hot flashes?

It was experiencing magnetopause.

Why do volleyball player want to join the armed forces?

For the chance to gain some experience in the service.

Newspaper Jokes More Newspaper Jokes

What's the difference between a newspaper and a cocaine addict?

One has headlines, and the other gives head for lines.

What kind of newspaper do cows read?

The Moo York Times

Journalist Jokes More Journalist Jokes

What keyboard shortcut is extensively used by journalists who work for Breitbart News?

Alt right

What do you call a journalist in Russia?

An ambulance.

Convince Jokes More Convince Jokes

What's the hardest thing about being an audiophile?

Convincing the sound to get into your van.

What did Ernie say when his friend tried to convince him he was ice cream?

Are you surebert?

Pull Jokes More Pull Jokes

What does Iraq and Bristol Palin have in common?

Both of them are hard to pull out of.

What's the difference between a freezer and a faget?

When you pull your meet out of a freezer it doesn't fart