Convince Jokes

What's you experience with "Friends with benefits"?

The close thing I came to having friends with benefits was.......... convincing my friend to bring food for me daily.

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What did Ernie say when his friend tried to convince him he was ice cream?

Are you surebert?

What's the hardest thing about being an audiophile?

Convincing the sound to get into your van.

Why is it really hard to convince Egyptians?

Because they all live in de-Nile...

How do you convince your neighbor to share their water with you?

Try to get a long well.

How do you convince America to join a war?

Tell them its almost over

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Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What do I need a girlfriend for?

When the Reddit servers are ready to go down on me anytime?

How about something personal?

Me: Personally I need a job.

Daily Jokes More Daily Jokes

How did Eddard Stark get his daily recommended amount of fiber?

Raisin' Bran.

What's you experience with "Friends with benefits"?

The close thing I came to having friends with benefits was.......... convincing my friend to bring food for me daily.

De Jokes More De Jokes

What does a panther say when it steps on ants?

Ded-ant.. ded-ant.. ded-ant dedan deadANT dedandead-annnnnt # d-d-d-deadant.

What does Sherlock Holmes do in the toilet?

He de-deuces.

Share Jokes More Share Jokes

What's the difference between the east-German and the west-German accent?

While the former is shared by most, the latter is richer.

What do you call two stoners sharing a joint over dessert?

Joint custardy

Experience Jokes More Experience Jokes

How many of you guys experienced this?

Damn! I don't have spare keys either.

How many years of experience do you have?

50 - Really You are 40 years old - I had lots of overtime

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

What do you call an alligator trying to start trouble?

An instagator!

How do you convince your neighbor to share their water with you?

Try to get a long well.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell the difference between a weasel and a stoat?

One is weasely identifiable while the other is stoatally different.

How do you tell when a girl really wants you?

When you put your hand down her pants you think you're feeding a horse.

Van Jokes More Van Jokes

What did one Mexican say to the other Mexican when there were no room in the van?

Yo no space.

How many disappointments can you fit into a van?

I don't know, I can't get them outside of the house.