Convince Jokes

What's you experience with "Friends with benefits"?

The close thing I came to having friends with benefits was.......... convincing my friend to bring food for me daily.

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What did Ernie say when his friend tried to convince him he was ice cream?

Are you surebert?

Why is it really hard to convince Egyptians?

Because they all live in de-Nile...

How do you convince your neighbor to share their water with you?

Try to get a long well.

How do you convince America to join a war?

Tell them its almost over

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Invent Jokes More Invent Jokes

What did Romans use to cut pizza before the rolling cutter was invented?

Lil Caesars

How was copper wire invented?

One copper coin, two dwarves.

Neighbor Jokes More Neighbor Jokes

What do call a horse that lives near you?

A neighbor (naybor for pessimist horses)

What is 667?

The neighbor of the beast.

Egyptians Jokes More Egyptians Jokes

Why is it really hard to convince Egyptians?

Because they all live in de-Nile...

How do Egyptians warn each other about a spreading fire?

Pyroglyphs.

Pull Jokes More Pull Jokes

What does a writer hope to get in a Christmas cracker?

A Pull-it-surprise!

Why are fire trucks red?

You would be too if someone was pulling on your hose all day.

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What do you call Captain Forte and his sidekick Piano?

A dynamic duo! This joke came to me in my delirious state after hours of band camp practices.

What did the collard green do when his favorite song came on the radio?

He got turnip

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

Why can't we edit tweets?

Because if we could I would edit a tweet with 2,000 retweets to say "RT if you hate puppies and babies."

Who was bigger, the baby or his mom?

The baby, because he's a little Bigger.

Sound Jokes More Sound Jokes

What sound does and alcohlic train make?

Chug chug chug chug chug chug...

What’s brown and sounds like a bell?

Dung!

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What do you tell an Irishman if you catch him urinating?

European.

How do know if the person that you have just met is a DJ?

They will tell you.