Wednesday Jokes

What is Mr. T's nickname for Wednesday?

Chump day.

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What's the best day of the week to marry your gaming console?

Wednesday

How do you make a blonde laugh on a Wednesday?

Tell her a joke on a Monday!

Why did the Addams have the late man arrested?

He was expected on Tuesday, but he came on Wednesday.

How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?

Tell her a joke on Wednesday!

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Saturday Jokes More Saturday Jokes

Why are Saturday and Sunday strong?

Because all the other days are week days.

What did the mermaid do last Saturday night?

She went out with the tide.

Monday Jokes More Monday Jokes

What do you call a person who's happy on a Monday?

Unemployed.

What is the only thing on earth that goes "ha ha" on a Monday?

A bit late, but.... A blonde who heard a joke on Friday.

Arrest Jokes More Arrest Jokes

What is it called when you are arrested for drunk driving and you extremely regret it?

DU-WHY!

What did Abe Lincoln say when he was arrested?

I'm-in-a-cent!

Marry Jokes More Marry Jokes

Why won't the honeydew marry the watermelon?

Because they cantaloupe..

What fruit can't get married?

CANTELOPE

Middle Jokes More Middle Jokes

What's worse than stepping on a Lego in the middle of the night?

A landmine.

Why do traffic lights turn red?

You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street!

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

Why did vegan cross the road?

Because chicken came to his side.

What do you call an empty cheese whiz jar?

Cheese Was! some old guy came up to me on the street and told me this one.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you tell a chemist no?

Nitrogen Monoxide

Why the big pause................................?

Said the man in the pub to the bear. First heard this joke told by Eddie Izzard.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Who fills in for the president of Russia when he's on leave?

Deputin

What do you call a man with no arms or legs playing in the leaves?

Russell.