How flexible are you?

He asked. I can't do Tuesdays. -Tommy Cooper

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Why do people ask "what the hell were you thinking"?

Obviously, I was thinking I was gonna get away with it and not have to explain it

What makes you think you can criticise American gun laws, sitting over there in the UK?

I was asked on an internet forum. "Because you're not allowed to take them on planes," I answered.

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What's the worst thing about Fridays?

Realizing it's only Tuesday.

How flexible are you?

He asked. I can't do Tuesdays. -Tommy Cooper