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How do you know when it's time to get a new dishwasher?

When the old one expects you to "do your share"

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know when your girlfriend is putting on too much weight?

She starts fitting into your wife's clothes.

How do U know it's the wrong hole?

No one has done this before, it's just us two you know

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

How many times does 1 go into 0?

As Many Times As It Wants!

What happened to the Mexican after he took heroin for the third time?

He over 'd

Share Jokes More Share Jokes

What do you call a Pirate you share an apartment with?

Your room-matey.

What shoes are hard to wear?

Dark Soles Terrible gaming pun. My friend posted this on FB, thought I would share.

Expect Jokes More Expect Jokes

What do you call a funny hill?

Hilarious... My little sister told me this and I wasn't expecting it at all.:

What did you expect?

Honestly.

Old Jokes More Old Jokes

How many yankees fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They'll just stand in the dark talking about how good the old one was.

What are the three "O"s of bad driving?

Old. Oriental. Ovaries.