Oh God Jokes

What did Nicolas Cage say when his daughters grades came through?

Oh God, not the B's!

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

What did one coconut say to the other?

Oh my god a talking coconut!

What did Bernie Sanders say when he found a dead body at a Democratic Party meeting to select candidates and decide policy?

Oh god, a caucus!" cuz he has a new england accent

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God Jokes More God Jokes

Why doesn't God want to argue with Satan?

Because Satan has more politicians to help him.

What do you do when you want to golf in a thunderstorm?

Hold up a 1 Iron. Not even God can hit a 1 iron.

Machine Jokes More Machine Jokes

What do you call a machine that automatically paddles your boat?

A row bot.

Which machine at the gym should I use to impress beautiful women?

He pointed outside and said "The ATM machine" c/o /u/jubileo5

Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

What do prisoners used to talk to each other in jail?

Cell Phones.

How do you know you're talking to a pilot?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

Prepare Jokes More Prepare Jokes

How do you prepare a Gorilla sundae?

Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!

Why people cry during the weddings?

They are preparing for whats coming afterwards

Grocery Jokes More Grocery Jokes

What do you call a horse who likes to carry all the groceries?

A one trip pony

Where do safari animals buy their groceries?

From the supermeerkat

Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What do you call a man who has lost the lower parts of his legs, but still somehow has his feet?

Tony.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs laying in a pile of leaves?

Russel.

Decide Jokes More Decide Jokes

When Bruce decides to do stand-up, what will his stage-name be?

Penny Bruce

Why did the architect take so long to get started on his church blueprints?

He couldn't decide what font to use.

Dead Body Jokes More Dead Body Jokes

What's Alderaan's main export?

Dead bodies.

What prize did the dead body receive?

Atrophy