What did one coconut say to the other?

Oh my god a talking coconut!

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What are you talking about?

I got my hair straightened out.

Which plant talks the most crap?

Shiitake mushrooms.

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What is that behind your ear?

Nice try, too old for the coin trick" "No it's a tumor" "Oh my god" "Kidding it's a quarter"

What did Nicolas Cage say when his daughters grades came through?

Oh God, not the B's!