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What do a marriage and superglue have in common?

They both form a bond in seconds, last (ideally) forever, and are dissolved by alcohol.

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Second Jokes More Second Jokes

What's Captain Hook's favourite kind of shop?

The second hand shop.

What did the man who ate a clock say?

That was time consuming but I still want seconds.

Alcohol Jokes More Alcohol Jokes

What kind of alcohol gets stuck in your head for days?

Red Red Wine!

How do you get a Mormon to stop drinking all of your alcohol?

Invite two of them.

Marriage Jokes More Marriage Jokes

What are the three rings of marriage?

The first one is the engagement ring...the second one is the wedding ring...and the third one is the suffering.

What's the one kind of marriage that's still frowned upon in Alabama?

Interracial

Form Jokes More Form Jokes

What is formed at the end of mitosis?

My nailses

Why does it take so long when Satan is in front of you in line at the post office?

Because the devil takes many forms.

Dissolve Jokes More Dissolve Jokes

Which one dissolves?

The polar bear, because he's polar!

What do you call a liquid that spent all its money dissolving solute?

Insolvent

Bond Jokes More Bond Jokes

What are the loneliest elements?

The noble gases, because they can't form bonds

How did Metallica get their band name?

They Bonded over lunch.