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What do a marriage and superglue have in common?

They both form a bond in seconds, last (ideally) forever, and are dissolved by alcohol.

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Second Jokes More Second Jokes

Which is the worst hand to lose?

The second one.

What do you need to teach a blonde who never had an accident in 20 years?

Second gear.

Alcohol Jokes More Alcohol Jokes

What do you call someone who randomly shows up and drinks your alcohol?

Bill Murray.

Why do Canadians call alcohol anonymous triple A?

AA, Eh

Marriage Jokes More Marriage Jokes

Why didn't Tarzan and Jane manage to save their marriage?

Because Tarzan was swingin' from three to three.

How is a marriage like a hot bath?

Once you get used to it it's not so hot.

Form Jokes More Form Jokes

Why'd the guy panic and call 911 when he realized an ocean was forming around him?

It was an emergent sea.

What is a perfect society formed by a Asian called?

A Yutopia

Dissolve Jokes More Dissolve Jokes

What do you call a liquid that spent all its money dissolving solute?

Insolvent

Why didn't the grizzly bear dissolve?

Because he wasn't polar

Bond Jokes More Bond Jokes

What's the difference between men and government bonds?

Bonds mature.

What does a blonde woman is doing with her ear bonded to the wall?

Listening.