Million Dollar Jokes

What is a small loan of money?

A small loan of a million dollars

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How do you turn a little boy into a little girl?

With a small loan of a million dollars.

Why did the rich man go crazy?

He had one-million dollars, but no cents.

What's the quickest way to make nine million dollars?

Date Simon Cowell.

What is a million years like to you?

God: Like one second. Mortal: What is a million dollars like to you God: Like one penny. Mortal: Can I have a penny God: Just a second.

How does a musician make a million dollars?

They start with 2 million.

Who makes a million dollars a day?

Someone who works in a mint.

What's the easiest way to make a million dollars?

Invest a billion.

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Billion Jokes More Billion Jokes

Who is the most successful liar in the world?

Mary. Lied about her extramarital affair, still believed by billions.

What's the easiest way to make a million dollars?

Invest a billion.

Quick Way Jokes More Quick Way Jokes

What's the quickest way to lose pounds?

The UK National Lottery!

What's the quickest way to make nine million dollars?

Date Simon Cowell.

Rich Man Jokes More Rich Man Jokes

What's the diff between a rich man and a poor man?

Rich man has a canopy over the bed, and a poor man has a can o' pee under the bed

Why did the rich man go crazy?

He had one-million dollars, but no cents.

Cent Jokes More Cent Jokes

What did Abe Lincoln say to the judge when he asked how he pleas?

I'm in a cent.

Why didn't the cashier laugh at my joke?

It didn't make cents

Musician Jokes More Musician Jokes

What do you call people who hang out with musicians?

Drummers

What's the difference between a musician and a bag of rice?

The bag of rice can feed a family of four.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a porcupine and a Ferrarri?

Porcupines have pricks on the outside.

What's the difference between your mom and my computer?

I can still turn your mom on.

President Jokes More President Jokes

What did the US President with Alzheimer's ask his wife?

Who are you

What does the president of Russia call his toilet?

Vladimir's Poo Tin

Spend Jokes More Spend Jokes

What's the difference between toilet paper and shower curtains?

If you answered "I don't know." I would like to tell you that I spent all day cleaning that mess up.

How do terrorist surfers spend free time at Guantanamo Bay?

WATERBOARDING!!!