Penny Jokes

Why do gas prices end with 9/10 of a penny?

It just makes cents.

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What did the penny say to the other penny?

Let's get together and make some cents.

What type of pasta is no longer used in Canada?

Penny...

Why is Abraham Lincoln on the Penny?

Because it makes cents (sense).

What happened when Canada got rid of the penny?

Canadians became *penniless*

Why is a pig in a water trough like a penny?

Because its head is on one side and its tail is on the other.

What do you call a penny with Jesus on it?

J.C. Penny

Why did the Louvre tour guide work for pennies?

Because this docent makes any cents.

What lands as often on its tail as it does its head?

A penny.

What did Sheldon say to Penny?

BaZINCa!!

Why is a cat like a penny?

Because it has a head on one side and a tail on the other.

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What do you get when offering a blonde a penny for her thoughts?

Change.

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Mexico Jokes More Mexico Jokes

Why does Mexico always underperform in the summer Olympics?

Because everyone that can run, swim or jump is in USA.

What do they call pita bread in Mexico?

Pita pan

Corner Jokes More Corner Jokes

What is green and sits crying in the corner?

The incredible Sulk.

When you're cold inside, where do you stand?

You usually want to stand at a corner, they're around 90 degree's

Reason Jokes More Reason Jokes

What do you get when you mix a Jehovah's Witness with an Atheist?

Someone who shows up to your door for no reason.

Why'd the chicken cross the road.?

Reasons unknown

Walmart Jokes More Walmart Jokes

Where do you buy a Walrus?

Walmart!

Why aren't there Walmarts in Afghanistan?

Because there are Targets on every corner.

End Jokes More End Jokes

Why is a burning candle like being thirsty?

Beacause a little water ends both of them!

What is printed on the bottom of a bottle in Michigan?

Found on /r/linux) A: Open the other end

Pub Jokes More Pub Jokes

Why the big pause................................?

Said the man in the pub to the bear. First heard this joke told by Eddie Izzard.

What did the Irishman text his Wife?

Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again.

Cent Jokes More Cent Jokes

Why did the rich man go crazy?

He had one-million dollars, but no cents.

Who was the least guilty President of the them all?

Lincoln. He was in-a-cent.

Hill Jokes More Hill Jokes

Why was the Scotsman buried on the hill?

He died.

Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?

To get to the bottom