Penny Jokes

Who's There?

Interrupting the whos there) Penny!

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Everyday Deserves a Joke

Why do gas prices end with 9/10 of a penny?

It just makes cents.

What did the penny say to the other penny?

Let's get together and make some cents.

What type of pasta is no longer used in Canada?

Penny...

How do you find the fastest man in Africa?

Roll a penny down a hill.

Why is Abraham Lincoln on the Penny?

Because it makes cents (sense).

What happened when Canada got rid of the penny?

Canadians became *penniless*

Why is a pig in a water trough like a penny?

Because its head is on one side and its tail is on the other.

What do you call a penny with Jesus on it?

J.C. Penny

Why did the Louvre tour guide work for pennies?

Because this docent makes any cents.

What lands as often on its tail as it does its head?

A penny.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

What did Sheldon say to Penny?

BaZINCa!!

Why is a cat like a penny?

Because it has a head on one side and a tail on the other.

What is a million years like to you?

God: Like one second. Mortal: What is a million dollars like to you God: Like one penny. Mortal: Can I have a penny God: Just a second.

What do you get when offering a blonde a penny for her thoughts?

Change.

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God Jokes More God Jokes

What's the difference between god and pilots?

God doesn't think he's a pilot.

What makes fish smell?

One fine morning in Eden, God was looking for Eve, but couldn't find them. God saw Adam and asked where Eve was? Adam replied, "She's down at the Ocean, taking a bath." "Damn," says God, "now all the fish will smell."

Abraham Lincoln Jokes More Abraham Lincoln Jokes

What did Abraham Lincoln say after a three-day drinking spree?

I freed the what?

What do Abraham Lincoln and Ryan Fitzpatrick have in common?

Neither of them can finish a play

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Want to hear a joke about a piece of paper?

Never mind...it's tearable

What does Bill Cosby do when he can't sleep at night?

He finishes her drink EDIT: Apparently this is Conan's joke, so all credit goes to him. I just heard it from a friend of mine and I had no idea.

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

What did Olivia Newton-John say to her doctor?

Lets get physical!

Where do I see myself in ten years?

I don't know. Let me think. *pictures self riding jet ski made of bones through space*

Reason Jokes More Reason Jokes

What do monkeys sleep on?

Apricots. I used to love this joke when I was a little kid and told it over and over. I'm still a little in love with it for that reason. What are some of your favorite jokes from when you were a little kid?

How many lost cats walk by the telephone pole with their missing flier on it?

Just another reason to teach your cat to read.

9 Jokes More 9 Jokes

How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

10. 1 to change it and 9 to say they could have done it better.

How many Blondes does it take to bake chocolate chip cookies?

10....one to bake the cookies, and 9 to peel the M&Ms

Corner Jokes More Corner Jokes

Why aren't there Walmarts in Afghanistan?

Because there are Targets on every corner.

What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner!

Sense Jokes More Sense Jokes

Why is Joey Tribbiani a presenter on Top Gear?

It makes no sense, he's not a good driver, he and all his friends are always stuck in second gear

What did carbon yell at gold while trying to get his attention?

A! U!!! If it doesn't make sense tell it so someone out loud. Pretty sure this is my first original joke