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What do Abraham Lincoln and Ryan Fitzpatrick have in common?

Neither of them can finish a play

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What is Kanye West's favorite breakfast food?

Omelette you finish.

Why should you always finish telling your jokes to David Carradine?

He doesn't like to be left hanging.

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Why doesn't Gabe Newell play basketball?

Because he can't make 3's

What position do u play?

ME: I'm a *thinks back to the only game I watched* wide-retriever.

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What did Abraham Lincoln say after a three-day drinking spree?

I freed the what?

Why didn't Abraham Lincoln go to jail?

Because he was in-a-cent!