What's the easiest way to make a million dollars?

Invest a billion.

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What's the quickest way to make nine million dollars?

Date Simon Cowell.

Why did the rich man go crazy?

He had one-million dollars, but no cents.

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What's the easiest way to get gum out of your hair?

Cancer

What is the easiest way to make a banana split?

Cut it in half.

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What's the easiest way to make a million dollars?

Invest a billion.

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Why was the hipster so successful in the stock market?

He invested before it was cool.

Why is everyone investing in Ireland?

Because the capital is always Dublin!