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Squeeze Jokes

What's the difference between a pretty girl and an apple?

One you squeeze to get cider, the other you get 'side her to squeeze.

Birthday State of Mind

Birthday State of Mind

What's the difference in red and purple...?

How hard you squeeze it.

What did the web designer do when a hot girl walked up to him and squeezed his nuts?

He AJAXulated.

What grows when you squeeze it, explodes if you rub it too hard, and children love it?

A balloon animal!

What's a python's favourite pop group?

Squeeze!

What have men and spray paint in common?

One squeeze and they're all over you.