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Why are programmers so consumeristic?

Because they're object oriented.

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Why was the programmer unhappy at his job?

He wanted arrays. It had to be reiterated several times before it was sorted out.

Why was the programmer lonely?

Off-by-one error.

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Why are programmers so consumeristic?

Because they're object oriented.

What do you call a programming language designed for women?

An object oriented programming language.