What did the hipster epidemiologist say to United States citizens at a press conference?

You probably won't get it.

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Why are there no knock knock jokes about the United States?

Because in America, freedom rings.

What happens when the president of the United States has to use the bathroom?

The state of alert in the White House rises to Defecate 2.

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What did the hipster epidemiologist say to United States citizens at a press conference?

You probably won't get it.