What did the hipster epidemiologist say to United States citizens at a press conference?

You probably won't get it.

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How do you know the Statue of Liberty isn't French?

It doesn't have both arms raised. And yes I know the French manufactured the Statue of Liberty and gave it to the United States

What do Ohio and Mackerels have in common?

Nothing! Ohio is the only state in the United States that's name shares no letters with the word mackerel.

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What did the hipster epidemiologist say to United States citizens at a press conference?

You probably won't get it.