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What's one cracker plus two crackers. 257 Calories(http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?

I=What%27s+one+cracker+plus+two+crackers%3F)

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What do you call a Soviet ruler dancing on a cracker?

Putin on the Ritz. *ba-dum tsh*

Why did the black man have to sell his parrot?

Because polly wanted a cracker