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Why did the alien phone home on his mobile?

Because it was so ET!

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How can you tell if a Mobile software developer isn't enjoying his job?

He isn't very App-y

Why does Neville Longbottom like herbology so much?

Because his parents are vegetables.

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What's ET's first name?

Spag.

What's the difference between a happy person and ET?

A happy person has a light heart and ET has a heart light