How many non-humorous people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One

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How many acrobats does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two. One to change it and one to yell "Ta-daa!" when he's done.

How many drunks does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one. He holds the bulb and the room spins.

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How many bass players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One. Five. One.

How many conspiracy theorists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

We may never know the truth.