What did one octopus say to the other octopus?

Will you hold my hand hand hand hand hand hand hand hand

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Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

How many egoists does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. They simply hold the bulb and wait for the world to revolve around them.

How many drunks does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one. He holds the bulb and the room spins.

Octopus Jokes More Octopus Jokes

How do you know you're always about to have fun in the company of an octopus?

Because it's always ten-to-cool time...

What do you get when you cross an octopus and a lion?

A stern rebuke from the ethics committee and an immediate withdrawal of funds.