What did the closed can say to the half opened can?

YOU'RE BEING UNCANNY!

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Open Jokes More Open Jokes

Why is there lipstick on your collar?

She yelled. "It's part of the design," I said, opening up my wardrobe, "Look, I have the entire collection."

How do you tell who loves you more. Your wife or your dog?

Put both of them in the trunk of your car...drive around...open the trunk and see who is happy to see you.