What do you call a cat who uses fake finger prints?

An im-paw-ster.

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What does cats and festival attendees have in common?

They both love using the toilet right after it's been cleaned.

WhatsApp and SMS?

Dad: We used to keep useless information to ourselves.

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What did Hamlet say to his cat?

Get thee to a nyanery!

What does a cat say when it lands on it's back?

Me. Ow.