What do you call a cat who uses fake finger prints?

An im-paw-ster.

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What's it called when you're using Tinder on the toilet?

Swiping and wiping.

What is a Mexican's favorite sport?

It used to be cross country but now it's rock climbing.

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How do you know when it is raining cats and dogs?

There are poodles everywhere!

What's the unluckiest kind of cat to have?

A catastrophe!