What do you get when you play a Frank Sinatra record at twice the speed?

Shrank Sinatra

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Why didn't I play in the Woman's world chess championships?

Because I ran

Why did Jesus stop playing hockey?

Because he kept getting nailed to the boards.

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What do cows call Frank Sinatra?

Old Moo Eyes!

What do you get when you play a Frank Sinatra record at twice the speed?

Shrank Sinatra