Where does Charlie Sheen shop?

At Winners.

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Why was everyone mad after the annual animal race?

Because the winner was a cheetah

What do you call a blond skeleton in the closet?

The winner of hide and seek.

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How long does Charlie Sheen last in bed?

Two and a half minutes.

Who's the best person to invite over for Christmas?

Charlie Sheen. Because you know it's GUARANTEED to be a white Christmas when he's around.