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Who are you supposed to be?

4: A ninja.

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How many beers is that for you today, dear?

Me: Like 4 maybe. 5 tops. Wife: I counted 19. Me: Well I rounded down.

What has 4 legs, 2 grey and 2 brown?

An elephant with diarrhea

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What am I supposed to do with this computer now?

IT: Work M: Who hurt you

How do you congratulate the guy who won the best tie contest?

You tell him... "that's definitely a win sir". Or if he did ok you can say you half win sir i suppose.