Why are you watching Thatcher's funeral?

Mum: "Just to make sure"

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What are the pros and cons of wearing two watches?

On one hand, you have a watch... But on the other hand, you have a watch.

What happened when the two lovers were watching a scary movie in a year when Valentine's day happened to fall on Friday the 13th?

Oh wait, nevermind. I'm an idiot...*

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Why doesn't Oedipus swear?

Because he kisses his mum with that mouth.

Why are you watching Thatcher's funeral?

Mum: "Just to make sure"